Am I being unreasonable here?

Lycanthrope · #11 (**permalink**) July 20th, 2008

Sometimes, my fiance' will touch my things and I trust that she felt like she had a good reason for doing so. That's enough for me.

She knows I would do the same. It's a team effort.

It's not that she touched my things....it's the reason behind it that would violate trust.

Lycanjusthowitworksforusthrope

Tony Fly · #12 (**permalink**) July 20th, 2008

My wife and I are very open, usually. We really don't have many privacy rules. My firearms are hers also, although... I get first dibs since I bought them

. I just demand that she use caution, safety and common sense when she handles them.

I do not look at her phone because I trust her... She does look at my phone occasionally because she has to make sure she can trust me (I don't know why, but I understand a person's need to re-assure themselves, and I have nothing to hide)

There are certain things that I decide not to tell her but they are things that do not affect her directly. There are things she decides not to tell me (I think) and I leave it at that.

I only go in her purse when she asks me to or I let her know I'm gonna do it.

If I was nebby with her stuff she would have never gotten away with surprising me with a TV for my birthday... so I'm glad I'm not nosey.

Trust is important in a relationship. I understand why you got upset and I don't blame you one bit, but I would also want to remind you that he only had the best intentions in mind when he put your firearm in the safe, maybe he wasn't thinking at his highest level putting them in a semi-broken safe, but he was thinking of you and the kids when he did it. So try not to stay pissed at him for to long.

Just my $.02

ErSwnn · #13 (**permalink**) July 20th, 2008

I'm wondering....did he aplogize for the transgression? If so, then it's nothing more than a learning experience for both of you and used properly will strengthen your relationship. If not then you two need to have a discussion on person property. If that be the case then do so with as little aggression as possible. Putting someone in a corner makes them defensive and much less likely to concede to your point. Best wishes to you both on the outcome.

ungawa · #14 (**permalink**) July 20th, 2008

You're not being unreasonable but he sounds like a saint

Wasz · #15 (**permalink**) July 20th, 2008

Its understandable to demand your privacy and respect for your things and space, but sounds to me like he was trying to watch out for your things. Its not as if he was taking money from your wallet or purse or something, or going through your email. Cut the guy a break and tell him how you feel. Like tomorrow after you've calmed down because if you've been yelling at him hes not gonna want to listen anyway.

Once he knows that you don't want him to touch your guns he probably wont.